Common Mistakes People Make When Getting a Divorce
Copyright © 2009 StraightDivorce.com
As everyone knows, going through a divorce is a painful process and often in our haste to get things over with, we may make decisions unwisely that are often not in our best interests. Sometimes, because we want that other person out of our lives as soon as possible, we wind up signing things that shouldn’t be signed. Or at other times we feel under pressure and we relent to certain stipulations when we know it isn’t the best choice. Sadly, during one of the most critical times in our lives, people often make mistakes that cannot be rectified.
Once Making the Decision to Divorce
If you’ve come to the conclusion that there is no way to save your marriage and you’ve decided to divorce, rather than doing it hastily keep in mind that it should be handled responsibly. Given the fact that most people have accumulated assets, property and debts as well as having a family, nothing is as important as doing it right. And by right, I mean paying attention to the small as well as the bigger details. To keep you from making any mistakes, the following may help you as you prepare to make decisions. Keep in mind that these are only suggestions and therefore not necessarily right for everyone. It is always highly recommended that before making any final decisions, you consult with a good divorce attorney.
Some Common Mistakes When Getting a Divorce
- 1. Some people rush to court. Because very often people want out of the marriage so badly, they rush to court before giving it careful thought. Take some time to think about your divorce, as rushing into court can not only put more stress on you, but it can mess up your finances. It’s pretty obvious that getting a divorce can be costly, and because money is going to be divided, this is not the time to be impulsive. Rather then rushing to court, you might consider mediation. Mediation can help you negotiate an agreement that satisfies both parties. Of course, if you and your spouse don’t see eye-to-eye, mediation won’t work. But if there’s a possibility that the divorce can be done amicably, mediation is a good choice.
- 2. Some people don’t have their own credit rating. Make sure if you are a woman, that you have your own credit cards. There are a lot of entanglements when a marriage ends and many women are left without the finances they need. Therefore, it’s very important that women especially have established their own credit by getting a credit card in their name. You’re going to be starting a new life and therefore you need to think about being independent.
- 3. Some people overspend. You may be angry and want to get even if you don’t want the divorce, but now is not the time to be spiteful. Don’t go crazy and spend lots of money just to get back at your spouse. Instead, use your money to pay off as many monetary obligations you can before you start divorce proceedings. If you wait to get financial obligations handled after the divorce settlement, you are opening up the door for trouble. For example, if one spouse doesn’t pay what they agreed upon in the divorce, it’s very possible that you will have creditors chasing after you for payment. That could cause you to get into great financial trouble.
- 4. Some people take action that could later affect their rights – Before doing anything that could potentially affect your life forever, speak with a divorce attorney and know your rights. Don’t make financial or legal decisions if you feel under pressure and never take advice from well-meaning friends. They don’t know the law and divorce legalities and therefore their advice could wind up costing you heavily.
- 5. Some people sign things too soon – Consider the long term before signing any papers. Because you could make a wrong turn, it’s always best to consult with a divorce lawyer as you could easily make an unwise legal decision. You don’t want to have regrets, so use caution before agreeing to or signing anything.
- 6. Some people give up control of the divorce - Even though you trust your divorce attorney, you have to live with the end result, so be sure you’re comfortable with anything suggested. Yes, your divorce lawyer is well trained to represent your interests and you should listen to his or her advice, but no one knows better about what you need than you. Yes, listen to your divorce attorney, but in the final analysis, listen to what your instincts tell you before saying okay. If something feels wrong don’t do it until you’re sure of your decision.
In the final analysis, divorce is stressful but when you use good judgment, it will be less stressful. Keep in mind that although you want the divorce to be over, it’s best not to sign anything unless you’ve been advised of your rights. Consult with a divorce lawyer to be sure that what you’re signing is in your best interests. And regardless of your emotional conflict, don’t use the divorce to get even. It will come back to haunt you. Instead, try your best to reach a settlement that you can both live with. Above all, don’t do things in the hope that you may win back your spouse. It doesn’t work that way and you can be left with a lot less than you deserve. Yes, many people make mistakes in the divorce process, but if you use wise counsel, it doesn’t have to be you.